I Started To Kill Myself
2019-07-01 22:27:48.824039
I haven’t written a blog for 6 months already, I hope that everyone still recognizes me.
What I have noticed lately about myself is that I am not the same as myself in two years ago.
Because I learn how to survive on my own since I dropped from my high school. I was only being myself, what I care about the most is how can I reach my desire.
If you read my last blog, as I am a blockchain developer I prefer to have a job I love and do what I need.
I do not like working with people.
The time comes around and goes around. One person who is my current chairman comes to give me 3C which changed my perspective of working with people.
I decided to follow him and the belief of going back to our great empire.
My first month in the office was do nothing. I feel misused.
I prefer to have something to challenge, I want to extend my knowledge. It is supposed to be what all the programmers want.
But after a while, I start to realize that what I learn from this first month is not coding but learning about myself.
I challenge my attitude from being impatient to the patient.
I need to gain trust from my co-workers.
I stop grieving and what I can do is to prove for the trust.
To be the next leader you need to learn how to sacrifice, be patient and understand the situation.
Moreover, as a team leader, I have a problem with driving the team.
I am the youngest among all in the team.
Some might be glad to have me as the leader and some might feel bad.
I wasted time thinking of a strategy for the win, I lose focus and have no time for self-development.
My Chairman told how to use true love to end hatred.
If you hold grudges, there will be no end.
I determine how to repay true love with whoever crossing my life.
Life began to change, I can sleep with peace and enjoy advancing my skills.
What I learn from him so far is to live more for others which lead you to have more delight and motivation.
All of these are just the beginning of killing myself. There will be more of myself that need to be killed and there will be more to update about myself killing progress.
So, what are the 3C he gave me?
Eric Lou
July 01, 2019, Phnom Penh, Cambodia